The guy sobs, I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. A: It scares the shit out of their dogs! Who was England's first chiropodist? Q: What do they call cans in Mexico? Razor hands, this is a stick up! Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public? Q: What did the mom say to her blonde daughter before a date? A: A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer? The biologist says, They must have reproduced. They also have a legendary firework show above the Mississppi River, and if you wanted to get a closer view you can take a ride on the historical Creole Queen and Steamboat Natchez. A: Spit, swallow, and gargle, Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. A: A dressmaker sews what she gathers, a farmer gathers what he sows.
Q: What's sicker than a pile of dead babies? He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. To bring moral support and entertainment to the workers, they brought in Elvis Presley, who mounted the stage and said, Well, today's the day your machine must produce snow. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted and she does so. From the most beautiful beaches, family-friendly resorts, fun activities, and quite affordable flights, Hawaii makes it onto the list! One of them said, I suppose what we have here is a classic case of the Oedipus complex.
Honey bee a dear and open up, would you? A: Because it gives them square roots. Q: What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine? One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Howl you know unless you open the door? Q: Whats the best thing about a 18 year old girl in the shower? Q: Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side? State has the smallest soft drinks? One says to the other: Does this taste funny to you? Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear. Just Take Your Time ~ Time Jokes - How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. The second says, I'll have a half a beer. I will now be a funny old man someday.
Where the hell do you think you're going? Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. A: Because he wanted to see time fly! It takes a special talent to sound kind of dumb and sort of smart at the same time. Q: Name the five great kings that have brought happiness in to peoples lives A: Drinking Licking sucking fucking and wanking. One says to the other: Does this taste funny to you? The kids were nothing to look at either.
I told him it was in the bathroom. The first one orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, and the third orders a third of a beer. Flaslight A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. The bartender then says Oh well, he's upstairs in his office with my wife. I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger.
Q: Why can't Jesus play hockey? Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? Q: Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibit? I saw how he kissed your neck. I took her home and she ended up cooking my sock. A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in. I just got hit by a rented car. He asks if it is ok to use the new device.
Q: How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The cross-eyed teacher had trouble controlling his pupils. A: Kermit the frogs finger Q: What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Some of them are old, and as such reflect the tone of the times. What do you have when you have two little green balls in the palm of your hand? Her husband responds, They're twins! Q: What has got two legs and bleeds? Q: What do you get when you cross a midget with a prostitute? Play on words Edit 2: to the people saying that the bar is just a bar alcohol bar made of wood, why is the termite asking if it is tender then? Q: What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? A: Short changed Short Jokes For Adults 86. He advertised the giant strawberry far and wide, and people came from all over to see the exhibit. Q: What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job? Q: What's 6 inches long and starts with a p? It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! Ouch, yes that hurts too Now if you touch your chest, how's that? Our top ten jokes sent in by readers include some classic cracker jokes that have been around for generations, as well as a few clever ones thrown in. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. I went on a once in a lifetime holiday.
Q: What's the job application to Hooters? Q: What's worse than spiders on your piano? A: Because they've got big mouths and little dicks. Q: Did you hear about the guy who ran in front of the bus? The first says, Give me a beer. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. A: Because they keep stepping on the string! I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. So, I asked you all on my Facebook page for your Best.
Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: When he is standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice 80. A: They don't know where home is Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. A: They can suck a dick standing up! Q; What did the angry inflatable teacher say to the irresponsible inflatable child in the inflatable school? The doctor replied, I know you can't I've cut off your arms! Compiled By Samuel Stoddard If you're a masochist, read them. All other textual and graphical material at this site is Copyright © 1999-2008 by Samuel Stoddard. Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: A lickalotopis Q.