He said it's rude, had a full blown fucking coniption fit, and came and started beating my hand for having my hand in my hair. Try to view the actions that led to this resentment from a different perspective. She will constantly try to define your reality in a way you know is not true. I cannot let go of the best parts of myself to be her vague, ambiguous, undefined idea of a daughter. Yeah, foster homes can be hell but as least I would have a chance at finding parents who honestly cared about me. Moms were our source of food, comfort, protection, and love.
Think about this: would you allow a person like this into your life if you were not related to her? The kind of mother that never thinks before speaking, can't make decsions at all unless you literally lay down the specfics. So sons and fathers are more likely to experience permanent closure than daughters and mothers. All I can suggest is for her to approch her Dad and say that she realizes that she will be going away to college in a few years and leaving home, and that she would like to have some memories of doing things with her Dad before then. Now they might think that I am a irresponsible person. I actually had and still have legal basis to put my mother in prison. Thankfully they live far away. It is important to have people you can trust to talk to.
Suddenly I was able to see the truth of the family dysfunction. She was upset, depressed, drinking more alcoholic , not herself, not eating etc. Show me an abusive parent who decides to mature and accept that their child does not equal their property. I explain her everything, love her, support her and give her hugs and kisses. Firstly, not all dads love their kids. I'm 29, so I've had time to come to terms with the fact that my parents were all too human, and time to build an identity, some self esteem and confidence.
He does not want to talk or see me. There were definitely comments about how she would be the first person to get to see the boys and get to be in the delivery room. I was better off with my grandparents who loved me and my brother so unselfishly. These mothers are sociopaths or narcissists, they are only interested in themselves and what they can gain from others. I hate it when I have to go over there! Sometimes I rather be dead then begin in the same house as him.
My mom is just taking things out on me, and although she cares for me on some level, right now, she unavailable to love me the way that is right for me. Well the truth is, he doesn't. The abuse and cutting keep you in the pattern of feeling bad. I think most of my life I have looked for approvel, acceptance, love, or admiration from her and never got it. I know you may feel you have low self-esteem at times.
Some will read this and take it to heart. I just turned 18 and my parents were told at the doctor that they should try to help me out remembering my medicine etc. It always came with a rude remark like Yeah keep it up you could still drop a few more pounds though. If you ever did love your mom, and I hope you did, and you don't want to hurt her by telling her how you feel, it's a good time to seek out someone you can talk to -- an adult. Holidays bring out the worse in these behaviors, because the person who treats someone as you have been treated, are under more stress.
Shes drinking and smoking herself into a dark hole that she'll never climb out of. The relationship I have with my adult children is better than ever. He doesn't even listen to what I'm saying, and then still insists that he knows better. But most of the time, if the person really hates someone especially a parent there is a logical reason. My parents, however, continue to hold on to your attitude and I no longer have any contact with them, and the contact my adult children have with them is decreasing every day. . Thanks very much for your reply.
Read on to find out the possible reasons. Try not to brag or act cocky about the new you, as you grow stronger about yourself. Many of the disclosures I have read within this thread, have literally both broken my heart and blown my mind. If walking away from my family, my 'support structure', brings me peace and relief. Hi Dorothy, congrats on getting sober and being willing to make amends.